"I fare well in stormy weather"
Fact: I've spent nearly my adult life in the Hospitality business, working mostly as a Chef
Fiction: I am what I do for a living
Fact: I've been let go twice in my career
Fiction: Neither time was for "unsatisfactory work performance"
Fact: Each time kicked me in the gut and had me foundering for some sense of 'why'
Fiction: I was lessened by my loss
Quite to the contrary, each loss has fortified, steeled me to myself in a way that all my successes couldn't
Fact: I have 1 key left on my key chain
It's for my 2005 Pontiac Vibe GT, which I have faithfully paid despite a vicious interest rate and some lean earning months.
I have 3 payments left.
In a sense it is the only thing I really "own" at this time.
I have some books, tools, pictures, tapes, DATS, albums, a 500 G hard drive, some clothes and a box that contains one monogrammed Chef coat from every job I have ever held.
In the past month I have had to leave a job, that although paid well, asked much and took even more.
I gave up my key card, Pcard, access codes and keys
Ended the lease on my apartment in a city I once questioned why anyone would go
Gave away or left behind most of the furniture, fixtures, and anything that wasn't nailed down
I gave up my key card, apartment key, storage key.
Moved what little was left to my girlfriend's parents house, interspersed in closets, unused bedrooms and the garage.
So, now I have 1 key left to give away.
Carmax will have that soon enough when it's time, and time is getting very short now.
I've been offered a job off this rock, on a British Protectorate that requires a very vigorous Work Visa application process.
There is a one bedroom apartment waiting for me to bed down in
There is a car waiting for me to drive on the left side of the road
There is work waiting worthy of the sum total of my experience, skills and all the guile that my mind can conjure
There are other keys to gain
New perspectives to witness
New opportunities to capture
New gains to be made in this new, quite radical, chapter of my life
And yet -
I feel that there is a deeper process at work, a more profound change than merely latitudes and attitudes
I'm not quite clear on what exactly it is; it's something near enough to grasp but far enough way to elude articulation but my intuition is calling it out for me to pay attention to.
I'll let you in on it when I make sense of it but for now, know that I place my face into the wind and one foot in front of the other because the past is dead and standing still is not an option; entropy is an ugly way to go.
Stand Tall & Frosty my Brothers & Sisters - Jonathon Livingstone Seagull is on the job