Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Realization of a life lived

In writing the last post, which I neglected to spell check - my apologies, I came upon 3 insights:

1.) The hijacking of the 'Aha Moment' by an insurance company for an ad line is insidiously clever but I'm thankful for anything that celebrates those mysterious, magical moments in our lives - we should be singing those songs more often

2.) In the past 8 months, whenever I thought that I was at the end of my rope with only a long way to drop, something or someone was there to mitigate the damage and support me in my adventure - a timely check wired to my account, a reconnection to an old and treasured friend, the blooming of a new one - a band rehearsal that went great and filled my heart with glee, my daughter's unfettered smile; everything has been falling into place albeit not what I may have imagined or prayed for but always and ever there has been an 'event' that has shown me how textured my life is, how rich and quite luxurious, although not in the classical sense - but MY GOD, how grateful I am for all of it and how thankful I am for all of you.

3.) Expectations can be a tricky thing, in business or personal life; I went on this past interview for a position that I'm overqualified for and end up getting a position that will require me to learn and puts me right to my 'edge', my comfort zone and causes me to stop, consider myself as a professional and man and encourages me to 'lean into my edge' as a means to push past any self limiting beliefs and opens up a whole new world to me.
Who would have thought all that would come from such as simple exercise as going on an interview AND, the more I learn about the company, it's founders, it's culture and mission I run up against my OWN beliefs again and again; I don't want to tell tales out of school but this may be, may be the perfect place for me to be right here, right now.

Hope springs eternal for me every moment that I take a breath - now I get to take action to make my beliefs a living breathing part of my life instead of some intellectual exercise in semantics.

All My Best to All of You!

Just When You Thought All Was Lost, Here Comes Life

Stop the depression, cease and desist with the negative thoughts, discontinue the discomfort; halt the procrastination!
“This just in – Optimism Is Possible…..”

Last July I lost my last full time gig – this was at the beginning of the downturn before everything got really hairy – before anyone knew how bad things could really get. I had been working with a small start up with big plans and ambitions and I, as the Corporate Chef was working on things way outside my comfort level and skill set but I was learning things about building a business from the ground up that I knew, in my heart of hearts, that would pay off huge in the future – financial plans, construction project management, preopening critical paths; all that really fun stuff.
I had the feeling that something was coming my way although I hoped that things would work themselves out. I saved a bit, held out for a decent severance package and set up a few leads for consulting work should the bottom drop out.
And, drop out it did. Even though my intuition was telling me to be prepared it still came as quite a shock to me when the conversation finally came, you know how they go, ‘No hard feelings, you’ve done an excellent job, just a matter of economics…’. No matter how they framed it, it still meant that I was outside looking in.
Having planned a bit, I scheduled a long overdue back surgery; the rationalization being that I needed all my strength for the next chapter of my adventure.
For the first time in my life I filed for unemployment; no pride involved – I had paid in, I deserved the cash.
I worked my network, reaching out to past associates and co workers, polished up my Linked In profile, got on FaceBook, started my own blog – anything to work the process.
I figured that the energy I was expending would return ten fold when the perfect job I had envisioned, meditated on and wrote about would surely come.
I sent out 6 resumes a week, sure that my crafty cover letters would woo some hard hearted Human Resources Director to my cause; I could be an valued asset to their organization after all – couldn’t they see that?
My smiles became more strained, my posts in my gratitude journal started to sound more like pleas and I slowly realized that I had become very bitter over my past dismissal.
Very bitter, and with that the depression hit me in the head like an empty Tequila bottle after eating the worm. The depression lay there simmering under the surface mixing with my bitterness until it became a lethal brew, enough to knock any wise ass to his knees; and there I remained, prostrate wondering at once how the hell I had gotten here, and where, o where, would I end up?
And that’s when I woke up from my fog and got back up on my feet. I straightened my shoulders and raised my head up because I knew that no one, no one was going to make this work except for me and the first step was to let it go; release and allow, change my stinkin’ thinkin’ and get myself out there.
The minute, I mean literally the moment when I let go of my feelings of bitterness over my last job and my desperation over my present predicament I got a call. I went on an interview for a Kitchen Manager position, under my pay grade but who was I to turn my nose up at a decent day’s work.
My can do attitude, that attitude of gratitude came shining through me and was told that instead of the KM position they wanted to offer me the GM position.
I already had more than most to be grateful for, a roof over my head, my body was healing nicely, my children were healthy – my word, what did I have to complain or worry about? Can’t seem to remember right now………
GM, well hell yes; praise God and pass the ammunition; time to roll up my sleeves and starting hittin’ it hard – tall and frosty, here I come.
Now, I ask you – what came first, the chicken or the egg?
What are you capable of with a heart full of gratitude and a head full of optimism?
Hold True my very dear friends -any of you who may be experiencing difficultes at this time - Hold True, night always passes into the light of a brand new day and who knows what thay may bring....